


Paradise Lost

by agony37



Category: Kpop - Fandom, Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Drugs, M/M, Rape, Self-Harm, Smut, Torture, TriggerWarning, Violence, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2018-08-10 04:12:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 12,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7829983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agony37/pseuds/agony37
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[I'm reposting this from my original postin on an other fanfiction site]<br/>In a world reigned by a corrupted church-government and war against everything and everyone, brotherhood and the "blue wonder" are more or less the only thing left for the boys. And when they lose one of their brothers, they know, they have to start fighting. No matter the costs.</p><p>"All in" inspired. </p><p>I'm not used to write stories in english [I normally write them in german] so please tell me if something's wrong, thank you!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I don't know

He didn't quite know what happened. Well actually he did, but he shouldn't have woken up. He should've just stayed asleep, all dark around him, alone, peaceful, finally dead. But somehow he gained his consciousness back. Coughing and choking, his body forced his head out of the water in to the fresh air, his eyes wide open, his lips frozen cold, with his mind still blank. Before his brain would've had the opportunity to catch a break, or his lungs spitting out the freezing cold water, his trembling body suddenly found himself in a strong embrace and finally he was awake enough to grasp his surroundings.

"Hyungwon... Why... Oh my... Don't ever do that to me again! Ever! You hear me?"

Slowly, still trying to understand, how on earth he was still alive, the tall beauty raised his eyes and met the tearful gaze that laid on him. 

"Minhyuk..."

Even that one little word hurt his throat and with a painful growl he shrugged away from his light-haired Hyung, tried to ignore the painful glance in his eyes, buried his wet face in his hands, holding back the tears, which were trying to come back to the surface. 

"Hyungwon... Please... Talk to me... Don't push me away... Not now..."

But he needed a minute, maybe more. He needed to think and the gentle voice that stung needles in his heart didn't really help. He had a plan. It was perfect. Well, so he thought. He had waited until the other guys had left the house. He had known what they were up to. Why shouldn't he? They were family... And that's why Minhyuk, Changkyun and Hoseok made it their mission to get revenge for their brother. Even if it meant to burn a house down, endangering people and maybe even getting killed. And that's why Jooheon had teamed up with Hyunwoo to rob that shop, so they could maybe save that one person, who was somewhat a parent for them all. And Hyungwon had lied, he had told them they shouldn't worry, that he would visit Kihyun, who was still in the hospital. And they had believed it, because, well like already said, they were family. But there his plan had ended. He hadn’t really known how he should do it. He could've gotten a gun, but that would’ve been too difficult. Slitting his wrists? No... He already was in enough pain, he had wanted to die without it. He still didn't know though, why he ended up in the bathroom. Or how he could’ve swallowed so many pills, so many alcohol, without throwing up. Or why he had filled up the bathtub and laid in it, still with his clothes on. He hadn’t been thinking straight anymore, but as his mind had started to go blank, it didn't matter anymore, because he had thought to know, that freedom was waiting for him. But...

_Why did you save me. Minhyuk I was dead... I finally did it. Why did you bring me back? Why were you even here? You shouldn't be here..._

Again Minhyuks arms wrapped around him and this time he didn't fight back. Sobbing and crying he clung to his Hyung, desperate. They both had so many questions, but now wasn't the time. Maybe they didn't ask, because they already knew the answers, deep down.

_How did you bring me back?_

_The flower..._

_Do the others know?_

_No... no... We're alone... I still had some left from Jooheon..._

_Why did you bring me back?_

_I can't live without you... Why did you do it?_

_I can't live anymore..._

Minhyuk gently stroke Hyungwons water soaked dark hair, didn't want to let go of him, didn't want to see him like this. Not again. He didn't want to think about what happened. He didn't want to lose him. Not again. "You're safe now, Hyungwon... He won't ever  **ever** hurt you again... You hear me? You're safe..."


	2. Some help

Hyungwon still didn't say a single word. But at least his tears had stopped. He just stared to the floor, shaking, as Minhyuk helped him in to new clothes. wrapped a warm towel around his head, not bothered, that he himself was still soaked with the ice cold water. He didn't matter now, the only thing that was important was Hyungwon. The light-haired boy gave his best to be strong, be strong for Hyungwon, but his heart almost shattered in to a thousand pieces, thinking back, to when he had came home. It wasn't more than a few minutes ago, but for him it felt like an eternity. He hadn’t dared to hesitate, as he had discovered the dark haired younger one in the bathtub. He hadn't hesitated to pull out his last dose of the  _blue wonder_. He hadn't hesitated pouring it in to the water. He hadn't hesitated making himself wet, clinging on to the cold, lifeless body. And then he had waited. Waited for a sign, that it had worked. That he didn't just lose his most loved person. That he would wake up, breathe again. And then he had felt that soft squeeze from those slender, cold fingers around his hand. First he wasn’t even really able to be happy, it had just been too painful watching Hyungwon rising out of the water, throwing up, gasping for air. But as healthy colour had returned to the pale face, he finally was able to wrap him in his arms and finally he had found his voice. He hadn't wanted to ask, but in the end he still had to.

"Minhyuk..."

The suddenly gentle spoken name woke him up from his thoughts and shaking his head, desperately trying to keep his sanity, he backed away from the taller boy, gave him space, didn't want to scare him again.

"I'm sorry..."

Again his heart wanted to break at the tear-filled voice. But he couldn't do that, Hyungwon needed him. Now more than any time before.

"No. Stop. Don't say that. Please... just... I..."

His voice broke, he wasn't as strong as he had thought. And at that exact moment, he was rescued by a third voice.

"Holy shit... what happened? Everything alright?"

Minhyuk forced himself to a smile, turned around, hoping, that Hyungwon won't just jump out of the window and somehow managed to answer.

"Hoseok... You're back? Ehm, yes... Just a little bath. Why do you ask?"

Their Hyung raised an eyebrow, not really buying Minhyuks words, tilted his head and let out a tired sigh.

"Because the whole floor is covered in empty bottles of all kind of sorts... And I’m used to taking baths naked."

Just as Minhyuk wanted to answer, searching in his head for a believable lie, Hyungwon finally found his voice again. But, it wasn’t the words Minhyuk had wanted to hear.

"I tried to kill myself."

First it was quiet, too quiet. The bathroom was filled with an ice cold silence. Both of the light haired boys could feel how their hearts missed a beat.

"What?"

Hoseok wasn't sure if he had heard right. He didn't want to. Not Hyungwon. Was everything they did for nothing?

"I'm sorry. What I actually wanted to say was, I killed myself. But Minhyuk brought me back."

Again Hoseok wished he was in a dream, a very fucked up one, but at least he would be able to wake up from it. But this was too real and he didn't want to be here. He didn't know, if he should just cling on to Hyungwon, crying, happy, that he was still, well again, alive. Or if he should just slap the shit out of the both younger ones.

"Minhyuk did what? Are you nuts?"

Minhyuk shrugged, he knew he did something wrong. Well breaking the rules regarding the  _blue wonder_ was. But saving a friends, a brothers life, that was a different story in his eyes. And Hoseok came to the same conclusion as it seemed. Then, instead of bashing the younger light-haired one, he sighed again, came closer, looked at Hyungwon, who still just stared to his feet, clearly not happy with the situation.

"I won't ask why. I can think for myself. But, Hyungwon... everything's alright now. Well, at the moment."

"You killed them?  _Him?_ "

"No..."

Hoseok didn't like the look in Hyungwons eyes, as he asked if they murdered someone. But at least he was finally looking at him.

"We burned the church down and..."

A bitter laugh escaped Hyungwons lips. With a unusual smirk, not suited for the topic of their current talk, he shook his head.

"And what good does that do? Nothing! You just made them angrier! Now they finally do have a reason to chase us... Chase me... Why didn't you let me die, the way I want? Everything’s better than..."

"No."

The sudden voice made the three boys stop in their doing and instead they turned around to the door, just to find themselves standing before their Leader.


	3. Lies

Hyunwoo wasn’t sure himself, why he had just barged in. Actually he didn’t even want to be back home, not after... He shook his head, took a deep breath and reminded himself, that he needed to watch over his boys and hearing such harsh words from Hyungwon... no he couldn’t let that be.

“Stop it, Hyungwon. Just, shut up. Don’t give them shit for  _not_ killing somebody. And it will give us,  _you_ a break. They will have to find a new place to stay and we scared the hell out of them. They didn’t expect to be attacked in their own town. They probably will suit up for a fight, but not against us. They didn’t see Minhyuks, Hoseoks or Changkyuns faces. They will think it came from the outside... so will you please stop talking about dying? We need you, you’re our  _brother_. Do you understand me?”

_I’m so sorry... I didn’t want to hurt you all... I didn’t want to hurt anybody... I just_

_You just wanted to die_

_I’m so sorry Minhyuk... I shouldn’t have..._

_Yes, you shouldn’t have. But now you’re here. Standing. Breathing. Okay._

_I’m not okay._

_Nobody is._

_..._

_Hyungwon... what’s wrong?_

They all expected an answer, but that didn’t happen. With a sudden choking sound, Hyungwon clenched his chest, sank to his knees, desperately trying to breathe. The last thing he heard were the shocked screams of his brothers, before everything around him turned black once again.

*** *** ***

This time he woke up without any pain and that confused him. He did feel tired and not really healthy, but to be fair, when did anyone of them ever feel truly really good? With a little groan he slowly opened his eyes, just to find himself staring at a white ceiling. Now  _that_ was really confusing. Their home wasn’t really that what you would call a clean house – so he wasn’t at home. The next thing he noticed was the rare soft bed he was laying in. That these were the first things he became aware of was kind of ironic, considering, that a mask in his face helped him to pump air in his lungs and both of his hands were pierced with infusions. He wanted to panic, he wanted to run away, he was scared. And just before he wanted to give in to his fear a gentle voice reached his ears.

“Hyungwon, you’re awake.”

Still shaking he slowly tilted his head just to find himself lying next to one of his brothers.

“Kihyun? What are you doing here?”

The brown haired boy smiled softly, wheeling his wheelchair closer, trying not to just jump in to the bed, as he heard the broken voice of the younger one.

“Wrong question.  _What am I doing here_ you should ask... You’re in the hospital, Hyungwon. Since about five hours I guess. The others brought you and I swear they wanted to stay until you woke up, but I sent them home. They need some sleep and I may not be able to walk right at the moment, but I can still watch over you, right?”

Hyungwon wasn’t sure if his Hyung knew, why he was here. That he had tried to flee in the most cowardly way. He didn’t know what he should say. But at least the fear had fallen off of him, now that he knew where he was and that he didn’t have to lay here all alone. So he just slowly raised his hand, pulling off the mask strapped around his head. 

“Hyungwon! What are you doing? The nurse will kill you if you destroy hers and the doctors hard work!”

The younger one just shrugged, slowly sitting up and mumbled:

“I don’t need it. I can breathe perfectly fine...”

“Hyungwon...”

“What?”

“They said... You told them you were coming to visit me but... instead they found you pumped up with all kinds of drugs... they said that...”

“No.”

He didn’t know why he wanted to lie. A few hours back it hadn’t mattered to him, what others could think. It hadn’t mattered if he hurt his brothers with his actions and words. But now, after a short sleep and time to dream, think, he realised, that he couldn’t do that. Especially not to Kihyun.

“I didn’t try to kill myself, I swear.”

“But they said...”

“I was delusional and high, okay? I... I didn’t know what I was doing or saying.”

“You died.”

“So they told you? What Minhyuk...”

“Yes. We’re family, we don’t lie.”

“I’m... I’m sorry... I’m sorry that I got you all scared.”

“It’s okay... just... don’t ever to something so stupid ever again, okay? It wasn’t really nice watching the doctors save your life... You know considering you already died once. Fucking Zombie.”

“Kihyun!”

“What? I’m just saying the truth.”

“You’re a fucking idiot.”

Kihyun was happy, that he really did manage to put a sincere smile on Hyungwons face. Already opening his lips again, they were interrupted, as the door to their room opened and a young nurse peeked in.

“Chae-ssi. You have a visitor.”

The two boys shared a short glance, both holding back a laugh. It was awkward hearing someone addressing Hyungwon like that. And he wished, that Minhyuk would walk through that door. He needed to apologize – honestly. Now the guilt was coming up, guilt that his Hyung had to find him like that. Guilt that…

„Baksu!“

 

_/////_

_A/N: hey there! I don’t know why I’m already posting the third chapter, well I guess I’m just having fun :3 but I would be very happy if some of you could tell me if it’s even good? ~~~~~ I’m quite insecure about this ~~~~~~ not even sure if I’m writing it understandable ~~~~~~_   
_but a HUGE THANK YOU to those who already subscribed :3 I hope I won’t let you down ^^_

_^always happy about critics and feedbacks^_

_*mwhaa* lots of love ~agony_


	4. Holy Father

Shaken up by the spoken title out of Kihyuns mouth Hyungwon found back to reality, while almost immediately falling back to consuming fear. Three men approached his bed, two of them stayed in the background, straight-faced, weapons locked at the hips. He forgot how words worked, he even almost forgot how he should breathe, he was just too scared. And just as the crippling anxiety threatened to drag him down the road of insanity, he felt Kihyuns fingers clinging around his hand and his voice, much stronger, than he was used to.

"With all respect Baksu, but what are you doing here?"

The man didn't even bother to look at the wheelchair user, instead he continued to look at the frightened boy in the bed, slowly shaking his head.

"Hyungwon. Did you really think you could just disappear? Your ...  _friends_ didn't really think that far. If you get hospitalized, I'll get informed."

"Kihyun...?"

"Yes?"

"Leave. Please."

"No."

His grip tightened, even though he was scared himself. Well he would have been dumb not being scared of the man, who owned the town, the army, owned them. But he would not let the Baksu hurt Hyungwon, not again. Even if it meant throwing the damn wheelchair across the room in that annoying, pleased face. But he didn't need to, then instead of screaming at the young boy, or even hitting him, the man just stroke his arm softly, ignoring the flinching in his face.

"You're my son, Hyungwon. I don't want to lose you."

"Appa..."

_Don't listen to him Hyungwon, please. Don't believe him._

_"_ I was so scared when they told me you were here... barely breathing. I'm sorry if I made you do it."

"I'm sorry too, Appa..."

_No Hyungwon. He is lying. You know it. He doesn't love you. He hurt you. Don't let him take you again._

"My beautiful son..."

Gently the Baksu stroke the tear wet face of Hyungwon, ignoring the hateful glance that hit him from Kihyun. And then the door opened again, loud, fast, not as gently as before with the nurse. 

"I couldn't sleep. Kihyun, sorry I know you said, that..."

Minhyuk froze, his eyes laying on the man, that broke their brother. And before anybody could say, or do something he stormed to the bed, grabbed the hand of the Baksu, tore him away from Hyungwon and without thinking raised his clenched fist.

"You fucking asshole! Leave him alone!"

_Minhyuk, don't... They will kill you. Don't._

And just like that Minhyuk laid on the floor, the two soldiers pressing him down, weapons to his head, waiting for the order. Hyungwon felt Kihyuns hand gripping him even tighter and then he screamed.

"Appa! Please don't! Leave him be!"

His father took his glance from the cursing, spitting, light-haired boy on the ground back to his son, tilting his head, suddenly not looking that friendly anymore.

"Didn't learn your lesson yet, Hyungwon? I told you, I  _warned_ you. They do not live by the rules of our gods. They are a disgrace. Not more than lowlife outcast. You don't need them. Look what they did to you. You're not obeying me. You left our holy house just to live on the streets with some junkie-kids. This is not you Hyungwon and you know it. You've been born for a higher purpose. Don't let their sweet, drug influenced words bring you off your path. You belong home, you belong to us. We're at war, don't forget that."

"I'm sorry. Appa, I’m so sorry. I will come back home."

"Hyungwon! What are you talking about? Stop that nonsense! For fucks sake, let go of me!"

_Minhyuk... I'm sorry... But I can't let them kill you. I can't let them hurt Kihyun again. He's already so scared. I'm only bringing pain, I'm sorry... You won't have to worry about me anymore._

_Hyungwon, don't go. Please. We..._ **_I_ ** _need you..._

_You're all better off without me. I'll be okay. I always was._

_Hyungwon..._

_Minhyuk..._

_I'm sorry._


	5. Not fair

"So could you get the money?"

Changkyun brought over his lips, after hours of them just sitting on the floor, staring in to nothing. None of them even bothered to try to sleep and they were kind of relieved, that Minhyuk made it his job to go check on their two brothers in the hospital. But still, the silence was almost too much to bear.

Hyunwoo raised his head, feeling everybody’s gaze upon him, their hopeful eyes and he felt his heart sink. He didn't want to give them another reason to get even more devastated. But he couldn't lie either. He may have been the only one of the boys being related by blood with Haraboji, but his grandfather was a father to all of them. Always watching over them, providing food and water, warned them if the soldiers came their way, listened to their problems, loved them, without ever actually having to. And when he got sick they were all dead serious about getting enough money to pay for his medical bill. But that wasn't that easy, considering they already were a thorn in the churches flesh. But Jooheon had actually somehow managed to get a weapon, without getting himself killed.

"Yes we did. Nobody got hurt..."

The words of their leader sparked smiles in their faces, they needed some good news. But Hyunwoo wasn't finished.

"While Jooheon was getting rid of the evidence I visited Haraboji, the money with me... but..."

Tears began forming in his eyes, suddenly his mind finally allowed him to fully grasp what happened. He felt Jooheon laying a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently.

"Hyung... what's wrong?"

"Haraboji... he... I was too late..."

First nobody of them said anything, their brains needed to process what their oldest had just told them. It was Hoseok who found his voice first again, clenching his fist, not bothering, that he burned himself with the cigarette between his fingers.

"What... what are you saying Hyung?"

"Dongsaeng... Haraboji he... he didn't made it. He's dead..."

Again the room was filled with silence, not even Hyunwoos now shamelessly running tears could be heard. They all just stared at their silent crying Leader, didn't want to believe him. It couldn't be true. Not their Haraboji. 

"Why is it always us?"

Changkyun tried his best not to give in to the urge to just lose it, instead he fiddled in his pockets, searching for the nicotine that would calm him down, even if it was just for a few seconds. Jooheon had his arms wrapped around Hyunwoo, stroking his back, using his whole strength to be strong, to comfort his Hyung, swallowing down his own tears. And Hoseok just stared down to his hands, watching the grey smoke crawling around his finger and the hot ash falling to the ground. None of the four boys could grasp a rational thought. It was just not fair. Two of their brothers were in the hospital, their father figure was dead and just because they tried to survive in a world reigned by war and sorrow.

And just as sadness and anger threatened to drag them in to an infinite spiral of insanity the door opened and with empty eyes they lifted their glance just to have the next blow of fate slapped into their faces. It wasn't unusual for one of them to come home with bruises, but something in Minhyuk face told them, that there was more to the fact, aside from him just being hurt. And as he was followed by Kihyun, struggling to hold himself on the crutches, who shouldn't even be out of the hospital yet, they knew, that something wasn't right. And as Minhyuk didn't even bother to pay attention to the tears of his brothers, but instead tightened his grip around the bottle of alcohol in his hand and slowly opening his lips, they knew.

"Hyungwon went back, didn't he?"

It was Hoseok who asked, yet it was clear, that it wasn't a question but a statement. And looking at Kihyun and Minhyuk, both trembling, a chaos of emotions on their faces and avoiding the glances of the other four there was no room for speculation anymore. Hyungwon had given up, he had left them, he had returned, went back. Back to the church who broke him, back to the man who beat him, back to the people who shot Kihyuns leg, back to the army, who didn't even acknowledge their existence. They lost their brother for good. And it was heartbreaking that it wasn't death who had taken him eventually, but his own decision. 


	6. Oh sweet home

Why did he expect anything else? What did he think? That they would treat him like a prince? Well yes, actually he did. He was the only son of the Baksu, he was the heir to their church, sent from the gods. At least, that's what he was told since he could think. That's what they had told him, every time he had to undergo the wrecking tasks so he could become the gods soldier he was born to be. So looking at it from that angle they actually did treat him as the prince of the church. And as soon as it started again, he regretted coming back. But he had to, or else he would have been responsible for the deaths of his brothers.

He hated it. He hated everything about it. The candles that didn't give enough light, so the only thing he saw was his own body, pale, trembling. The faint singing that reached him through the massive walls. The smell of the burning herbs around him. The dead eyes under the masks, as the church slaves laid the chains around his wrists, forcing him to stand on his tiptoes, so his hands wouldn't be scraped to the bones. But he didn't say anything, he didn't want to give them that victory of hearing him beg. And as they stripped him from his clothes, he knew what would come.

_You need to be cleansed of evil. You were gone for too long. You need to be purified from the dirt in your veins, in your mind. Or else the gods won't take you back as their child._

He heard the voice of his father, without him even being in the same room as him. But he had heard these words often enough when he was just a small, fragile child. He had watched often enough, as wayward soldiers or slaves were brought back. But not even the horror filled hours of watching them being  _cleansed,_ could've prepared him for the coming.

He didn't know how long they've had him waiting, hanging from the ceiling and so he felt almost relieved, as the heavy room door was opened, revealing his father, accompanied with the same soldiers as in the hospital. And as the Baksu stood before him, he didn't even say a word, instead he just gently stroke the way too skinny body of his son. Raising his head, looking in to the fear filled eyes of Hyungwon he gave the order.

"Begin."

The ice-cold water that poured over him, he knew was only the beginning, but his body already began to flinch, leaving his heart beating way to fast, his lungs gasping for air. Panting he tried to not give in to the pain, feeling the cold water drops leaving his soaked hair, running down his naked trembling body.

_Minhyuk..._

He tried to stay sane as they inserted the needle in his throat, draining the  _blue wonder_ filled blood out of his veins.

_Hoseok..._

He couldn't keep back his screams as they pumped the  _holy blood_ in his body with a second, even more painful, infusion.

_Help..._

His throat began to hurt, not even because of the inserted needles, but because he couldn't stop screaming.

_It hurts..._

Then the beating began, with fists and bats they smashed his body, leaving bloodstained bruises. They were careful to not break any bones, they needed him alive. They just had to force out every bad thing that had nested itself in him while he had been living with the scum of the city. 

_Please..._

Tears ran down his face and his screams got stuck in his throat, ending in wretched sobbing, as they rub salt in his wounds. 

_I'm sorry..._

He knew it wasn't boiling hot water, they used this time, lukewarm at its best. But for his ravished body it felt like hell itself poured over him.

_Minhyuk..._

The pain just wouldn’t' stop.

_Hoseok..._

His body went limp.

_Brothers..._

The chains cut into his wrists.

_I..._

His mind went blank.


	7. Sleepless

He should sleep, he knew. But he just couldn't. Every time Minhyuk closed his eyes he saw  _him._ His gentle voice, his big warm eyes, his smiling full lips, his dark, never really fitting hair and his heart-warming laughter that he would never hear again.

_Hyungwon..._

He should've had been protecting him. He should've been taking care of him. What good did the  _blue wonder_ do, when he just allowed the church to take him away? Well, that wasn't fully true, Hyungwon hadn’t been forced to leave with his father, but he had done it anyways. Because he wanted to protect him and Kihyun.

_Kihyun..._

At first he even had been angry at him for not helping him, as he’d been pinned to the ground, loaded guns to his head, but he soon had realised that Kihyun wasn't carrying any guilt. If Minhyuk would’ve been the one who had been shot just a few days prior, he would've been scared as hell too. But he hadn't been and that had led to his anger. That anger that destroyed everything. If he would've just stayed calm, not touching the Baksu, Hyungwon wouldn't have had to be the one saving him. If he would’ve had just laid low, waited for them to leave the tall beauty to his rest, then they could've had figured something out. But no he had been just so filled with hate, seeing the face of the man who just couldn't leave his hands off of Hyungwon. And now thanks to Minhyuk alone he had had to return to that scum he called father.

Forced to relive Hyungwons pain again he now could fully forget some sleep. With a silent growl he sat up, stroke back his whitish hair, before grabbing the alcohol bottle next to his mattress. Swallowing the legal poison in huge sips he hoped to drown the thoughts and pictures that just wouldn't stop dragging him down in to his personal abyss.

_You're a fucking idiot. He was always so scared. Losing faith for a time everything would be better._

The next bottle found its way to his lips.

_You may have brought him back from the dead but what good did that do? You just sent him to hell on earth._

The alcohol just wasn't enough.

_His eyes... Minhyuk you dumbass he was so scared... and still..._

"Minhyuk?"

Shaken up by the fragile voice he lowerd the bottle in his hand, tilted his head, only to stare into the sorrow filled face of Hoseok.

"Wanna go out for a smoke? I don't want to wake up the others..."

*** *** ***

The cold wind bit their faces, but it didn't really bother them. The cold was the last thing they had to worry about for the coming winter. They were few of the lucky ones who had a home and clothes. And they somehow always managed to get food. But winter was a dangerous time for the lowlifes of the city, no actually from the whole country. Because for the church army winter meant them sweeping the streets from all the scum that lingered there. And the boys were part of them. The soldiers used the longs nights and the cold weather to just let those people who didn't live by their rules disappear. And now with Hyungwon gone they lost the protection they had for the last few past winters. 

_Great... now I'm hating myself again. Way to go Minhyuk!_

With a bitter smile he stared down to his hands, playing with the cigarette between his fingers, not sure, how many he already had smoked while they have been sitting here under their bridge. He always had loved this place: in the heart of the city, not far away from their home and yet nobody ever came here. Well, except for the soldiers of course, always looking for Hyungwon.

_Great fucking job with distracting yourself from him._

Concentrating on to not just start screaming or go and burn some more houses down, he filled his lungs with the calming nicotine. Well, ironically he was sober enough to know that he was too drunk to even light a fire. From the corner of his eye he watched Hoseok, who hadn't said another word up until now. He just sat there, leaned against the wall, staring at the stones above his head, flipping one smoke after the other. Yet still Minhyuk saw, he saw his reddened cheeks, his tensed face, teeth biting on his bottom lip and he saw the tears.

_How could you forget that Hyungwon isn't just important to you? He's as much as a brother to them as to you!_

And just as he opened his mouth, an apology on his lips, Hoseok shrugged, lifted his head, met the gaze of the other and actually could bring himself to smile.

"It's not your fault Minhyuk."

Minhyuk shook his head, ready to object, but his Hyung didn't allow that.

"Shut up, Minhyuk. And listen. It isn't your fault, you hear me? For fucks sake you saved his life! If it hadn't been for you we would've had to bury our brother! But we didn't... He's alive, thanks to you. And it hurts me to see you so... quiet... broken... you know? You're always the loud one, you always make us laugh. I mean you even managed to put smiles on Hyungwons face and that at times where he just locked himself in a room and... you know what I mean. There were times where I could've sworn that we already had lost him, but you, you always managed to bring him back, you know? And that's why, you'll manage it again. And I will help you. We will get our brother back, if he wants it or not. And until then, you'll stop killing off your brain cells with that damned booze and help me figure out a plan how we'll survive stealing the son of the Baksu, got it?"

He was quiet first, not sure, what he should think, or answer. But he felt relived hearing those words out of Hoseoks mouth. He needed those more than he had thought.

"Hoseok?"

"Yes?"

"You're an idiot."

"You too."

_Let's save our brother._


	8. No escape

He hadn't even realized that he had fallen asleep until he woke up again. Slowly he sat up, stroking back his hair, squinted his eyes at the bright eyes, trying to see something and giving his best to sort his scattered thoughts. And then the memories of the past two days came back, slapped him in the face, making him awfully sick and with a stifled groan he wrapped his arms around his body, trying not to start crying all over again. Finally awake, every cut, every bruise and every fractured bone began to hurt once more. Still, he was confused, why he was laying in a normal bed, covered in a warm blanket, without any chains restraining him. He forced himself to not give in to his insanity, which was slowly creeping up to him, instead he let go of himself, raised his head, slipped out the bed and managed with shaking legs to walk to the only window in the little room. His father had assigned the best soldiers to cleanse his son of his sins, and they really had done a great job, but still, Hyungwon started to regret his decision. Every time they started the torture anew, the only thing keeping him sane, wasn't his believes, or the church, or even his loyalty, no it was the thoughts of his brothers, although the guilt of leaving them wasn't far either. With a dull glance he looked outside, seeing his hopes of maybe getting away crushed, as he realized, that he was located in the highest room. The street beneath him was at least ten stories down, so jumping would just kill him...

_Not even a bad idea actually..._

It wasn't that long ago that he wanted just that; to be dead.

_No more pain..._

He could be free.

_No more torture..._

He wouldn't have to stay at the church.

_Everybody would be happier..._

Nobody would have to worry about him anymore.

_But..._

He pressed his head against the cold window, closing his eyes and just couldn’t fight against the faces he saw before him.

_MInhyuk... Hoseok... Brothers... It would break them... Even more as they already are..._

He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry, but no sound left his throat. He just stood there, trembling, biting his lips bloody, desperate and full of hate against himself. He should've never left, he should've been stronger, he should've fought. But he had been so scared, he was always too scared. He was weak and that wouldn't change. 

"Oh, you're awake."

His heart missed a beat at the voice of his father; he hadn't even noticed, that the door had opened. Slowly he turned around, staring in to the smiling face of the Baksu, who now slowly approached him, laying a hand on his reddened cheek and looked up into the wet eyes of his son, not losing his smile.

"How are you feeling?"

_What kind of question is that even? Like hell!_

"I'm fine. Tired. But fine."

His fathers smile grew bigger, but the look in his eyes changed and Hyungwon could almost feel, how his blood froze. He knew that look all too well.

"That's my son."

His glance still strong, he slowly ran his fingers over Hyungwons jaw, stroked his neck, ignoring the way too scared facial expression and unhealthy heartbeat and eventually stopped at his fragile collarbone and as he spoke again, his tone was different, more gentle, but also way more dangerous.

"You grew up good... You look so much like your mother."

_Stop touching me... Please... I beg you... Don't..._

His fingers started moving again, making Hyungwon shaking again, filling his eyes with tears and leaving his whole insides feeling sick.

"So, so beautiful. Way too beautiful for a man..."

_Please... Stop it... Please... Not again..._

He closed his eyes, bit his lips once again, tasting the metallic taste of his blood, feeling the hot tears running down his cheeks, as his clothes hit the ground.

_I can't... please..._

"Perfect."

The soft kisses on his wounded body hurt like hell. And again he couldn't make a sound. He knew, if he tried to fight, it would just hurt more.

_Help..._

 

_/////_

 

_A/N: sorry for the long wait >.< i got a lot going on atm ... but i'll try to update once a week! Please don't leave? :D Still, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I would be happy about comments, reviews and/or feedbacks :3_

*mwhaa* lots of love ~ agony


	9. Good morning

He woke up due to a whispering, yet somehow really loud voice right beside his ear.

"Hoseok. Wake up."

With a little growl he pulled his blanket above his head, pressed his face deeper into his pillow and somehow managed to mumble some words.

"Minhyuk-ah... Let me sleep. Go bug someone else... Like Jooheon or some other idiot..."

"Cut it out, Hoseok! We need to get Hyungwon, now!"

His voice got louder with every word and so the other boys slowly also awoke from their sleep, confused, why the hell someone was screaming in such early morning hours, rubbing their eyes, yawning and still half asleep trying to figure out what was going on. Hoseok let out a deep sigh, writhed around in his bed until he forced himself to sit up, just to look into the wide open eyes of Minhyuk, biting around on his lips and obviously close to crying. With a short nod he let the others know, that he would take care of the shaken boy. Hoseok fought against the tiredness and searched for his most calm voice.

"Minhyuk. We talked about this. It's too early. We have no way to defend ourselves. We have no place to go. Without those arrangements we would only make everything worse..."

"No! You don't understand! We need to go now! Before it's too late!"

The remaining four guys exchanged confused glances, what had they missed this night? Hyunwoo managed to roll out of his sleep place, determined to prove his place as their leader, softly touched the sweat-wet hair of the now crying boy on his knees and tried his best to not give into his tiredness and yawn while talking.

"Why? What's wrong? Why do we need to get him  _now_?"

"Because...! Because... I don't know... I just know we need to get him now..."

"A nightmare?"

Kihyun asked, feeling the confused glances on him. But he knew his brother good enough to notice the signs. And he himself still suffered from haunting dreams, so he recognized that look in the scared eyes.

"It was more than just a dream... I was there. I saw how they..."

"Minhyuk, it was a dream."

"NO! Take me serious, for fucks sake! I heard his voice! I saw him! He begged me,  _us,_ to get him out of there! The church... His father is doing unspeakable things to him!"

Kihyun let out a sigh, looked between the two guys who were right beside Minhyuk, mutely asking for help. But it was Changkyun who butted in as next.

"That's just your brain trying to get you to feel guilty for what happened in the hospital. You were here, there's no way that you'd know what Hyungwon is up to. And I believe that they are not hurting him anymore, I mean he went back by his own free will."

"Stop talking over me! And start believing me! I'm telling you, he's gonna be broken for good if we don't get him back!"

"Shut up!"

The sudden loud, and obvious angry voice of Jooheon, the only one not next to his brothers, brought everyone to shut their mouths and turn their heads in his direction, baffled by his harsh words, but he wasn't finished yet.

"Let me guess, you damn moron, you didn't just waste my  _blue wonder_ in a fucking bathtub, you also had the idea of the year to trip out on it and now you honestly think that you can what? Read minds? Fucking travel through time and space? What's wrong with you? The flower should be something sacred and not to smack your already half dead brain with it!"

Jooheon closed his lips again, shook his head, not returning the looks he got, got up on his feet and slowly made his way to the door. But the shaken voice of Hoseok held him back.

"Wasted?"

"What?"

"You said, Minhyuk  _wasted_ it... What are you saying? That Hyungwon, our friend, our  _brother_ would've been better off dead? Are you implying that those flowers are more worth than his life?"

First it was silent, you could've had heard a feather falling to the ground. The air was freezing and everybody knew, that a fight wasn't far ahead. Jooheon still stood there, his back to his brothers, his hand on the doorhandle and finally an answer escaped his lips.

"We would all be better off dead. We tried. And we failed. I'm not talking about Hyungwon now, I'm talking about life. We can't manage to be more than some lowlife scum. And the  _blue wonder_ won't be enough forever. We don't even know, how it really works, who knows, maybe it's slowly killing us. I love Hyungwon, just like all of you, but he is the only one of us who has a chance to live a normal life one day. To marry, have kids, get old. And with us in his life that will be impossible. So, no Hoseok, I'm not saying he's not worth it. I'm saying that  _we_ are not worth it. We should leave him be, forget him... And stop making up some fucked up stories so we would go save him. We'll just get him killed."

And just like that he left, leaving confused, shocked, dumbstruck boys behind, who just couldn't think of a good reason, why those words had came out of their brothers mouth. But as painful as they were, deep down they knew, Jooheon had said the truth.

 

/////

 

 _A/N anyoung haseyooooo~~~~~~ sorry for the long wait :3 and i know i'm writing really short chapters who don't seem to go anywhere i'm so sorry about that!!! *_* yet I hope you enjoyed and hopefully still continue reading - everything will make sense I promise! :D_  
  
*mwhaa* lots of love ~ agony


	10. Oh Death

Nothing had changed. And he hated himself to ever think, that his father had turned for the better the past few years. He hated his naivety to believe, that the horror days of his childhood were over. That everything would get better, as soon as the torture would be over, of course. But even after he had been cleansed, after they had beaten every remaining drug and sin inside his veins out of him, the pain didn't stop.  _He_ didn't stop.

_How stupid are you actually? Of course he didn't change! He's a monster... And he'll turn you in one of them. You'll lose yourself. And it's your fault._

His inner voice was right, he brought this on himself. And this morning wasn't an exception. After a short night of crying himself to sleep and waking up again every five minutes, haunted by the nightmares in his brain, he heard his door being unlocked and then opened, followed by the heavy steps of his father. But he didn't want to, he was in no shape of facing the Baksu. He just wanted him to leave again. So he pretended to still be asleep, pressed his eyes shut, faced the wall and tried his best not to give in to fear.

_Just... stay still... don't move... don't cry... just don't..._

But the Baksu didn't care if his son was asleep. Hyungwon could feel the warm hands slowly caressing his way too cold skin, sending anxious shivers throughout his whole body. Despite his back feeling like it was pierced with needles, he laid still, hoped his father wouldn't notice the tears running downs his cheeks. If he could play dead long enough, then maybe he would leave. But he didn't. Hyungwon tried so hard to think about something better, to imagine himself at a beautiful place without all this war and pain, that his brain almost began to hurt. But the soft, almost tickling fingers who found their way downs his pants were more painful than the thoughts of a place he could never be.

"I know you're awake."

He didn't expect his father to speak and so he couldn't stop himself of flinching, as scared as he was. And he knew, that he had made a mistake. His father was the Baksu, he controlled a city, half a country, an army and he didn't like being lied to. Hyungwon cried out, as he pulled his hair, dragged him from his bed and slammed him face first to the floor. He didn't have to pretend anymore, he didn't have to hide his tears anymore and yet still, he couldn't defend himself. Then as he felt the blood in his mouth and dripping from his lips, he knew, anything he would try to do to save him, would only make things worse. The reason was simple: his father loved his beautiful face and when he really was so angry, that he would hurt that perfection, nothing could stop him.

Hyungwon wrapped his arms around himself, desperately trying to cling to his last piece of hope as his pants were ripped off of his shivering body. He couldn't hear how his father was screaming, cursing him for looking like his mother, when he was the one who killed her, the day he came to this earth, cursed him, for looking like his lost love, cursing him for living, for existing. Even the voice inside of his head was silent, the only thing he could hear was his own sobbing as the Baksu once again forced himself on to him. There was a time where he had thought that he would get used to it, but he had been so wrong, as always. The pain didn't vanish, it didn't get better, the shame didn't get less... It just got worse with every thrust. It didn't get better as his father once again buried his fingers in his dark hair, forcing him to lift his head, letting out another frantic cry, a cry for help, a cry for the sweet release of death. And as the Baksu let go of his hair and instead wrapped his fingers around his throat, slowly but brutally squeezing down on his trachea, he had hope, that his wish finally would be granted. But being choked to death was painful, and so was his father, still thrusting himself in to him and so the boys body started to struggle. There were no more screams, his throat couldn't. His whole body was twitching and he could feel the darkness come over him. 

_Minhyuk.._

_Hoseok..._

_Kihyun..._

_Jooheon..._

_Hyunwoo.._

_Changkyun..._

_I'm sorry..._

_I can't fight anymore...._

But suddenly the grip around his throat loosened and with a dull sound his demolished body hit the ground and slowly, almost too late his brain was able to get the oxygen it needed. His lungs grasped for air and somehow through the mist in his head he was able to hear his fathers voice.

"I still need you"

And just like that he left again, leaving Hyungwon hurt, naked, broken, crying. His face buried in his hands, not sure anymore what was blood, sweat, or tears, as suddenly a shattering sound filled his room. But he couldn't move and if this was death, a bomb, an attack, he would gladly welcome it.


	11. Pain and Love

As soon as the window was shattered he jumped in to the dark room, Minhyuk right behind him. And then they just froze. It wasn’t the first time that they found their brother crying and hurt, but instinctively they knew, something was different. This wasn’t like the times he had hid inside a locked room, or even used one of the white masks to cover his beaten face. His crying pain went way deeper. And as the disturbed light haired boys’ gaze fell upon the naked, trembling body, the blue, purple, sometimes even black bruises, the marks on his throat and the fine thread of blood dripping between his legs, they both realised with dropping hearts what happened.

Minhyuk still couldn’t move a muscle, he was just standing there in disbelief and pain. Too many thoughts went through his head.

 _I’m going to kill that son of a bitch who did that to you.  No mercy this time…_  

He watched, as his other brother slowly approached the still crying dark haired boy, he didn’t even seem to have realized, that they were here.

_My fault this is my fault… I’m so sorry Hyungwon… So sorry_

Hyungwon didn’t know what to expect – to be fair, he couldn’t really think straight, not even think at all. But as he felt a soft hand, carefully stroking back his sweat-wet hair, he couldn’t help himself from shrugging away, wrapping his arms even more around himself, pressing his eyes together, not ready for more pain.

_Please… no more… I can’t… Help…_

But as shaken words from a loving, knowing voice reached his ears, he wasn’t really sure, if he maybe was dreaming, hallucinating.

“Hyungwon-ah… It’s us… We… we’re here to take you with us… Hyungwonnie… You’re safe now… I promise…”

With hot tears still running down his cheeks he slowly managed to lift his gaze and still couldn’t believe, who sat beside him. His voice was cracked, almost silent, marked with pain.

“Hoseok? You… How… Why…”

He could see the pain he was feeling in the face of his Hyung, he must look awful. He wanted to cling on to him, feel the safe embrace from him, but at the same tame he felt so ashamed. He had left them, just to become the personal plaything of his father. He was weak, why did they even save him?

“Hyungwon…”

It wasn’t Hoseok who moved his lips, and so the dark haired boy confused tried to figure out, why he was hearing voices, when there was no one else in the room. But then his gaze fell to the window.

“Minhyuk…”

His face was marked with guilt and the same pain he had sawn on Hoseok, his hands were clenched in fisted rage and tears were covering his eyes. Somehow Hyungwon managed to sit up, clinging on to the helping hand of Hoseok. And finally Minhyuk could move again. With a sound that was almost nonhuman, he stumbled through the room, until his legs couldn’t carry him anymore. Sobbing he let himself fall to his knees, he reached out for the bleeding, bruised face and yet couldn’t bring himself to touch it. He was too scared that he would hurt him even more. Hyungwon on the other hand slipped out of Hoseoks grip and into Minhyuks arms. He could feel his arms wrapping themselves around his demolished body, strong, yet gentle. He could feel his breath stroking his neck, as he buried his face in Minhyuks chest, longing for his warmth, his strength, his love. And he could feel their tears, filled with both pain and relieve.

_Minhyuk…  You really came…_

_I once promised to protect you…_

_Minyhuk… how can you still look at me? How can you still touch me? Hoseok too… How can you both still… I’m so dirty and weak…_

_You are strong, very strong… And you are family… What kind of assholes would we be, if we would leave you behind?_

_Are we…?_

_We’re going home now, Hyungwon…_

_Home…_

And Hoseok just sat there, he knew they both needed some silence for a moment, they needed each other. At least Hyungwon was still alive, hurt, but alive. And he still could move, talk, cry… He let them touch him… That was way more than he had expected. But then he heard them; loud footsteps coming closer fast and some voice screaming, that they were being attacked. He tried not to panic and instead slowly stood up.

“Dongsaengs… We need to go. Now.”

Minhyuk raised his head, saw the scared face of his Hyung and knew, that they were coming. So he didn’t ask any questions, took off his jacket, wrapped Hyungwon in it, before he picked him up, for  a quick moment shocked, how light he was, way too skinny for his tall body… Minhyuk swallowed down the tears, that tried to come back to the surface. Gently being careful, not to brush against his wounds, as he carried him to the window, where Hoseok was waiting, already halfway on the ladder. It was dangerous, but it was the only way they maybe would survive this suicidal rescuing operation. And just as they started to climb down, they heard the shaking voice of Hyungwon, face buried in Minhyuks chest: “Thank you…”

 

/////

 

 _A/N anyoung haseyooooo~~~~~~ wasn’t it obvious, that they would save him? :D finally! I hoped you liked it as much as I did writing it :3_  
  
*mwhaa* lots of love ~ agony


	12. Runaway

It was an awkward, almost painful silence. It wasn’t that long ago that Hoseok and Minhyuk had left their house and it was obvious that Jooheon blamed himself for it. Who knew what those two idiots were up to now. If they would lose them too, they knew, they wouldn’t be a family anymore. Hyunwoo raised his head, gazing through the darkened room, not sure how to feel. The four of them were all sitting, scattered throughout the room, avoiding eye contact with each other, trying to drown their thoughts in alcohol. That wouldn’t have been the first time; but the reason behind it was different. The pain went deeper. And just as he himself thought about just leaving, never coming back, they heard a loud voice from outside their house, yelling.

“We need a bit help here!”

Kiyhun somehow managed to get on his feet, without shattering his leg again, gazed through the window and couldn’t believe his own eyes. There they were; Hoseok and Minhyuk. But they weren’t alone. At first the only thing his body could manage to do was opening his mouth and eyes, gasping for air, before he finally turned around and brought his confused brothers back to reality.

“They got Hyungwon! Minhyuk and Hoseok have Hyungwon! They’re all back!”

And it worked; all of them jumped to their feet, bottles on the ground, smiles on their faces and tears of happiness in their eyes. And then they all ran, well except for Kihyun who still had his issues with walking.

But as the four of them arrived outside, their happiness vanished. Although there were only some broken street lights, it was enough for them to see how hurt Hyungwon was and with a crushing guilt they realized, that Minhyuk had been right all along. His father hadn’t only wanted him back in the church, he wanted him back in the army, he wanted him as a holy soldier. They couldn’t even tell what fresh blood was and which wounds were the oldest. He looked more like a corpse than he had did as when he really had been dead. They all just stood there in shock, again not knowing, what they should do. But, they didn’t have to think; the two light hair boys did that for them.

“I’ll patch Hyungwon up. Kiyhun, you help Hoseok get some food and water together. Jooheon, we need that gun again. And you other two grab our clothes. We need to leave. Soon. If not even yesterday, got it? They’re following us. And this time, there will be people dying for good. So get it going now!”  

And they did, none of them even thought about the idea of talking back. They learned their lesson of not listening to Minhyuk. He had been right before and if he said, they would die if they didn’t flee, then it was like that. While they all went to do what they were told, Minhyuk, still holding the younger one in his arms, pulled him in to the house, in to the bathroom, sat him on to the bathtub and started washing him, silently, suddenly not that loud anymore. It had been the fear for his brother that had given him the strength to climb down that ladder, running across the whole city back home and making sure, that everybody knew, what they had to do. But now, for a short moment alone with the dark-haired one, no gun pointed on them, no other people around them, for a short moment nothing endangering them directly, he needed his whole concentration to not break down. But then he suddenly felt Hyungwons hand stroking through his head and as he lifted his gaze, looking in to those beautiful, yet bloodshot eyes he calmed down.

_Thank you, Minhyuk…_

_No… don’t… I should’ve come sooner…_

_It’s okay. You saved me. I’m back… with you all…_

_I promise you Hyungwon… No one will ever hurt you again._

“It wasn’t the first time, you know?”

Minyhuk didn’t expect the younger one to open his mouth, yet alone saying such words. Confused he helped him putting on some clothes he had left here, not sure what to expect.

“Not the torture… No… But it was horrible. Minhyuk-ah, I thought they would never stop… But… I’m talking about…”

_I…_

_Please… don’t… don’t say it out loud. Please… If you say it loud it will become true…_

_I’m sorry…_

“It wasn’t the first time he raped me, Minhyuk. He’s been doing that since I was a child. It’s… it’s my fault, you know? I could’ve defended myself. I could’ve fought. I could’ve told someone… I should’ve told you… I…”

But before he could finish what he was saying he had Minhyuks arms once again wrapped around his body, clinging on to him and his whispering, tear-filled voice in his ear.

“Shut up. Don’t ever _ever_ say that it’s your fault… Never. It’s his fault and only his. Please Hyungwon, don’t think such things. He broke you enough, don’t let yourself hurt you even more. You are too precious for that… Please, Hyungwonnie… Don’t.”

And they just stayed there, embracing each other on that very same bathtub they laid in days before. There wasn’t a sound to hear, just their silent tears falling to the ground. But they got shaken up by Hoseok suddenly standing in the room, a crooked smile on his face.

“This kinda feels like a déjà-vu… Anyways, Jooheon says he wants to talk to us later, to apologize, you know… and, we’re all set. We can go. Well, we should go now, they’re getting closer.” 

_Where will we go?_

_Far far away. Where he won’t find you, I promise._

 

/////

 

 _A/N anyoung haseyooooo~~~~~~ yesssss!!!! I’m not dead!!! :D I’m so sorry you always have to wait so long but yeah… I’ giving my best and I really hope you like reading it :3_  
  
*mwhaa* lots of love ~ agony


	13. Danger

_A/N anyoung haseyo. Yes, I know, almost 2 years since my last update… I’m really sorry. And I didn’t even think I would come back to this. Not because I lost interest, but because… well… personal reasons made it impossible for me to keep up with any of my writing – books and fanfictions nonetheless – for way too long. And when I finally was able to get back to it, I didn’t think the work was worth it; what reader would wait like 20 months for a new chapter? Well as it seems enough of you guys. When I went back to check on my emails I couldn’t believe the notifications of this page; I still had readers? Eager for updates? Believe me, your “loyalty” (?) did more than just motivate me again. But that hasn’t place here.  
so… what I want to say is; thank you so much fto everyone that didn’t stop reading and waiting. Thanks to you I came back to “Paradise Lost”. Thank you  <3_

_Even tho I won’t be able to update regularly – there’s still just too much going on in my life – but I do promise to not let this story rest until it’s completed._

_So; again. Thank you for sticking with me and this fanfiction. And enjoy this – way too long overdue – new chapter!_

/////

They somehow managed to leave the city, all of them, alive. They first couldn’t really believe it, none of it. On one hand they had Kihyun and Hyungwon, whom they thought wouldn’t be able to survive more than 10 steps, but they did. And on the other hand a very _very_ mad Baksu with an army under his command. But they did; they fled, they left their home, without getting killed.

But the really hard part started now; they had to stay invisible, who knew for how long and they needed a new place to stay. Especially because winter was coming near and they didn’t want to freeze to death after they had survived for this long. But none of them knew where they should go. The best thing would be out of the country; somewhere, where the Holy Church had no power. But kidnapping the Baksus son made it almost impossible to cross any state lines at all.

The sun was already setting again, as they entered a dead city. It must’ve been one of those places which had been destroyed to such an extend in the big war, that no one even bothered to build it up again, yet living there. Tired, anxious and hurt they somehow built a little fire with left behind clothes and furniture in one of the abandoned houses. Scattered around the comfy flames they tried to make themselves comfortable. Jooheon still had that guilty look on his face and absently he stared into nothing, completely ignoring his surroundings. But the other ones let him be; they were busy with themselves. Hunywoo tried to calm their youngest one, who seemed the most scared of them all and couldn’t survive a minute without a cigarette between his lips. Hoseok gave his best to reduce the pain in Kihyuns knee by softly massaging his leg. And Hyungwon was curled up in Minhyuks lap, happy to have his arms wrapped around him, clinging on to the older one, hearing his heart beat, feeling his fingers softly stroking through his hair and that was enough for him at the moment, to feel safe.

And they all just sat there, no one even spoke a word. But their weird peace didn’t last long. Hoseok and Kihyun who were sitting with their backs to the door were the first to notice. Well to be exact, Hoseok felt how his heart missed a beat, as the cold muzzle of a gun was pressed in his cheek and a deep voice brought all of them to realize, that they were in danger.

“Nobody makes a move, or I’ll mess up his beautiful face. Nobody plays a hero, or he’ll die. Got it?”

Hoesoks face had lost all of his colour and while Kiyhun was staring at him horrified, the other boys, including Hyungwon who had left Minhyuks embrace, were trying to figure out who the stranger was. His clothing was all in white, even the baseball cap and the mask, that covered his face. Why had they even dared to think, that they could flee, without getting caught? Minhyuk glanced over to Jooheons bag right next to him. If he wasn’t mistaking, there should be a gun in there. If he could grab it, without their attacker noticing, he maybe could get them all out of here. He felt Hyungwons gaze upon him, who knew what he was up to. But just as the white haired boy was about to fulfil his plan, a second voice appeared, this time behind him.

“Not a good idea, boy. Whatever it is, what you’re up to.”

With shocked pale faces they all lifted their gaze, looked around themselves and realized, that the stranger was indeed not alone. Every single one of them had an armed, masked, white dressed man behind them.

“Who are you?”

It was the one behind Hoseok who spoke once again, still pressing his weapon against his face. But none of them knew what they should answer. But surprisingly it was Hyungwon who broke the dangerous silence, with a voice that wasn’t trembling enough for their current uneasy situation.

“We just departed from the Holy City…”

“So you assholes are church soldiers?!”

A little smirk on Hyungwons face signed his brother, that not only he had gained his strength back, but also, that his words weren’t just said without thought, but constructed to lure out the identities of the strangers. And it had worked; they were obviously not really fond of the army, so the logical conclusion was; they were part of some rebel movement.

“No. We fled from there.”

“Why can’t I believe you?”

His question was answered by one of the other armed ones, who slowly lowered himself down to the ground, to be face to face to Hyungwon, uncovered, dangerous dark eyes piercing through him and a voice, that sent shivers down their spines.

“’Cause this son of a bitch is the one and only son of the Baksu himself. I recognize this fucking perfect face, even with all those bruises.”

The horror returned to their faces and they could literally read in Hyungwons face, how he said goodbye to his recently saved life. And before he could defend himself, the one before him grabbed his throat, dragged him on to his feet and rammed his gun between his teeth, ignoring the tears rolling down his face and hissed.

“I’m going to kill you, you fucking bastard.”

Hyungwons brothers wanted to jump up, help him, but they were powerless, having strong arms pinning them to the ground and loaded weapons to their heads. So Minhyuk tried to save him with words.

“Please, don’t! Leave him alone! He’s innocent! He is not his father! Please! Look at him! He already suffered enough! Please…!”

But he didn’t listen and unlocked his gun.

“Go on trying to convince us with lies… This one will die now.”

 

/////

 

_A/N so, that’s it for now. I’m already working on the next chapter; no 2 years wait again; I promise! ^^_

_But what do you think? Who are the other 7 guys? (Hint; another boy group, duh xD) And what will happen next? Let me now in the comments \^_^/_  
  
*mwhaa* lots of love ~ agony


	14. Bulletproof monsters

They were all screaming, except for Hyungwon, who closed his eyes, ready to finally welcome death. But nobody expected what happened next; there was no shot fired, no blood and brains all over the place, no dead brother – just an obviously mad and new voice.

“For fucks sake, Yoongi! Put down your gun! All of you! Let go of them! What’s wrong with you dickheads?! Didn’t your mothers teach you manners?!”

And they obeyed. Even tho there were mumbled swearwords and insults under breath, one after another let go of the boys and they of course immediately rushed to Hyungwon, whose shaking legs had given up and his knees had landed on the ground. While Jooheon and Hyunwoo tried to keep Minhyuk from beating the annoyed, confused and dumbstruck white dressed strangers to death. Hoseok held on to the hands of a shaking Kihyun and the trembling Hyungwon, wiping away his tears, stroking his hair and completely understanding Minhyuks angry spitted swearing; Hyungwon had suffered enough and yet still it didn’t seem to want to come to an end. Their saver had ordered their attackers to stand up against the walls and forbid them from saying another word, before he slowly approached the scared and slowly frustrated intruders. They all looked at him, anxious about what was coming next; did he really save them or was this just a part of a twisted game? But there was another silent thought the seven boys shared; they all had some kind of weird familiar feeling inside of them. And when he was as close as possible without standing on anyone’s feet, he reached up to his own face, removed the hat and pulled down his mask. And what he revealed left them all in unbelieving shock. Jooheon was the first one to react to the smirking, yet gentle gaze upon them; he let go of Minhyuk, stumbled a few steps, not able to believe, who stood before them; alive. And yet his name escaped Jooheons lips.

“Gunhee…? What… How… You…”

His stuttered words somehow managed to awake his brothers and after a long silent second they surrounded their saver, even Hyungwon and Kihyun forgot their pain for a moment and were able to also struggle to their feet. It was not common to find someone, who was believed to be dead – no, actually that never happens. Not to them; they lose people, people die, they don’t come back. And yet somehow he stood before them; Song Gunhee, their brother, who they had believed to have lost forever. He was laughing, trying not to start crying as his former family almost squeezed him to death in their arms. It was healing for their broken souls to have something this unexpected and beautiful happen to them after days, months, even years of suffering.

As they all calmed down and managed to release Gunhee out of their embrace again, he waved the white dressed men over, who now obviously regretted their behaviour. And as they also uncovered their faces the seven brothers realized that they couldn’t be older as themselves, when not even younger. Gunhee shook his head, still grinning and finally introduced them.

“Brothers, these idiots, who don’t know when it’s enough, are good friends of mine, normally… you know, when they’re not pointing guns at innocent people… Namjoon, Seokjin, Yoongi, Jimin, Taehyung, Jungkook and… Hoseok… well that’s a problem. One of you two Hoseoks will need a nickname… but before we come to that… Yoongi, don’t you have something to say?”

It was obvious that this Yoongi wasn’t really happy with the situation he was in, but still, he obeyed. With a grumpy face, hands clenched to fists he bowed and mumbled.

“Sorry for attacking you. And… sorry for wanting to kill you, pretty prince.”

Hyungwon just nodded, not sure what to answer, his brothers were just as unable to cope with it as he was. Yet the white dressed ones were clearly trying to hold back their laughs. And Gunhee patted Yoongis shoulder and grinned.

“There, there… was it really that difficult?”

“Hell yeah it was, Idiot.”

Before anybody else could’ve said a word, Jooheon opened his mouth, still not sure, if he was dreaming and asked the question everybody of his family wanted answered.

“And what now?”

Gunhee seemed to just be unable to lose his happy smirk as he answered.

“Somewhere safe. My home since I left you. My new brothers. But, I promise you, they will become yours too. Well, if you want join us, that is.”

Hyunwoo felt the need to claim his position as their leader back and intervened.

“And who is _us_?”

“The Clan, of course, you dummy. I believe you heard of us, didn’t ya?”

Now it was Hyungwon who answered, with wide open eyes, amazed and finally gaining hope again, that maybe everything could turn back to being good.

“The Clan, as in, the biggest rebel movement in the whole country?”

“Actually, it’s the biggest in whole Asia, but yes. I’m talking ‘bout that Clan. So, what do you say? Wanna come with us?”

They didn’t even had to talk about it, one glance from one to another was enough to decide. Jooheon wrapped his arm around Gunhees shoulders and answered with a way to wide smile.

“You can bet on it, Hyung! You won’t get rid of us this time!”

_/////_

_A/N: heya my beloved Hyungs, Noonas and Dongsaengs~ idk how I managed it; I actually planned on posting it after the (very busy to be) weekend but I got a unplanned clearing in my schedule today so…. Here you go! Enjoy!_  
And leave lots of love, support, ideas, and critic in the comments!  
Thank you  <3

_  
*mwhaa* lots of love ~ agony_


End file.
